for over 20 years of my life i was a people pleaser
doing things people told me to be pleasing to them
for over 20 years i chased material things the "american dream"
for over 20 years i did "what i wanted when i wanted"

and praise be to GOD i realized one day and a BLESSED DAY INDEED IT WAS
that NONE OF THAT BROUGHT PERMANENT PEACE
THE MONEY CAME...THE MONEY WENT
NOT EVERYONE WAS PLEASED WITH ME NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED TO PLEASE THEM

then it finally hit me one day....


these things COULD NEVER be the ANSWER

and on that day i reached out to GOD and said "i tried it and did it my way" and all that did was lead me to reaching out to you GOD

tired confused ...tired of chasing something i could never truly catch..because that something was not REAL
and was designed to never be caught



the bills never stopped
the pressure never stopped
the ups the downs the emotional rollercoasters..
the let downs
they ALL led me to you, GOD

all


when i could finally suppress and humble my ego
that is when i saw and felt the TRUTH
the TRUTH which had always been there
through it all,you GOD always were reaching to get my attention
I wasn't listening
i was absorbed in living an illusion
a truly made up world and life
of fleeting highs
and fleeting things



for this i repent LORD
each day

and you who CREATED me
know what i cannot know
and see what i cannot see

finally i put you FIRST
the place you belong the place you own

AS CREATOR OF MY LIFE
CREATOR OF MY PURPOSE
LOVER OF MY SOUL


YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
WAITING FOR ME
TO COME TO YOU

as you gave me free will

YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE
AND I LOVE YOU GOD.

AMEN
THANK YOU FOR IT ALL.
AMEN.